Thursday, September 7, 2017

Continue dreaming moonflower


        I'm so mad this morning. Just like every morning, I wake up feeling angry at people for trying to make me feel like I'm less than they are. Why won't people just leave me the hell alone, instead of questioning everything I say and do. No one trusts my thoughts or opinions and they say it's because i don't trust my own. I know that this isn't true. It only happens when people treat me weird or laugh at my ideas, that I get insecure. I'm just as smart or cool as the next person.
        I tend to smoke cigarettes and this is bad. I have always wanted to be a singer/performer since I was a very small child. My parents didn't encourage me, but I knew that's what I wanted to do. I didn't practice much, but I joined choir and I knew that was going to help get me there. I was never popular or had many friends, but I knew that one day I would be noticed. Sometimes I feel like, what is the point? No one cares about my talent anyway. I tend to smoke because I feel like no one likes me. I'm also bitter because I completely changed my life outcome because of someone else, instead of going after what I wanted. Why do I see everyone around me get noticed for the things that they are good at, but I just have to watch? It only matters to me. I want to sing on stage and that's my dream. I am responsible for my dreams. I hate cigarettes, they make you sick.
      I moved to a new town in hopes that I would make friends. People here are much nicer than the place I am from. It's the same story over again though, I don't fit in. Maybe it's a good thing, i mean, who the hell's standards am I living up to anyway? None of us are perfect, but somehow I am always shoved aside. Somehow I am always the one left out. At least, so it seems. Maybe I never want to get left out and that's the problem, because we should all have a minute to be focused on. When it comes to my best friend, I want his attention more so than he gives others. Is this wrong, perhaps. We all want to feel special and important. I don't want to be popular, just heard.
     I only have myself to look to. I am responsible for my own health and happiness. I am responsible for learning guitar and finding ways to sing and perform. I thought love and music coincides and I still believe that it will. I should never be jealous of someone with music because that is the route of all love. I should not feel discouraged that I am not being noticed or that my love is not including me in his own music. I have to build my own things. I have almost completely ruined my reputation since I moved here. Maybe I can change my image with time but at least people know my boundaries because aren't we all entitled to our own opinion? That's the only thing I really want. The question is really this, What do I do when I am not being heard.....the answer is definitely not to throw a fit, but write and then when the time is right, sing!

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

J.P. Hearticulate



               Hearticulate

                            J.P. Edwards



         This album has touched many people already and it just had its debut! 

From my own hometown of Texarkana, Jeffrey Parker makes friends with everyone he meets. 

We met at Starbucks while I was at work there and his kindness made an impression on me.

The crew has adopted him as part of the family, which I am sure that all the people in Texarkana are very proud that his talent comes from here. 

I spoke with Frank Pryor, producer at S.M.A.R.T. production studios, and he said that he was very proud of this project. He was so excited and wanted me to write about my friend and his successful music, saying "It's like being wrapped in a big warm hug!"

I am so pleased with the opportunity to be able to jot down a few thoughts about this kind fellow that came to drink coffee and chat with us. 

Being from Texarkana is a blessing and a curse, of your choosing. There are so many uniquely talented people here, but some don't go after their dreams. We have A LOT of musicians to be discovered right here! 
            J.P. has the right idea. With brilliant lyrics and soft melodies that you can fall in love with, this romantic album sends you swooning for more of his talent. 

     There is no denying the beautiful voice and wonderful ability of his new album Hearticulate. check it out for yourself!


View all his upcoming events on facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/jpedwardsmusic?fref=ts

Take a look at the studio!
https://www.facebook.com/smartstudionash?fref=ts


Order this heartwarming album today!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/hearticulate/id1041969571


Thursday, July 23, 2015

Heavy Glow

                                  Heavy Glow


A visit to Tk...
  Our town is called "twice as nice" but it only truly is when guys like this come to perform for us. Mingled in with our local talent, there just really isn't anywhere better to be in that moment. 
    
        I just met these guys on May 18, 2015 and they had a great impact on my love for music. So much so, that i HAD to write this blog.
 Their founder, Stevie Salas, was raised in San Diego, California, where he was influenced by a great variety of music.                                                  

 The talent of these friends is a collective amount of personality, melodic psychedelic retro feeling tunes that I can't help but to dance and head bang to.
You might call me a big fan, Heavy Glow enthusiast...
When they go on tour, they put their whole heart and soul into the performance. You can tell that they have a lot of fun on and off stage, making friends in every city they visit.
Every trip is filled with shenanigans, heart-filled moments and collaborations of dedicated musicians. I feel so happy and honored that they would come to my city and make my friends, their friends!
 

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Sexism in 2015, what a bitch


                  In the words of Lily Allen, it's hard out here for a bitch!

       I was raised in the south with very little knowledge of how the world works and my place as a woman. I got pregnant at 15...yes i had sex when i was 15...not uncommon at all, but very "frowned upon." Well let me just let you in on a secret...alot of people have sex at 15, why should i have to justify it just because I'm a woman?! Not frowned upon for a man, just a woman because she can get pregnant. Well, guess what? I have a beautiful 14 year old daughter! She knows about sex, because i told her...I made sure she understands the reason why she is inclined to want to try it because of hormones, the reason why she should always have protection and birth control. I also told her that it's a big decision and not let guys talk her into it like i did. My daughters will be fully educated on sex and how she has the right to live as she chooses. She will know that she does not have to feel shame for engaging in sexual activity as long as she is safe. She will also be a strong woman who pursues her goals and does not get arranged into a marriage before she is grown enough to know better.
           2015 and it's still so sexist that i want to scream! Why are my sexual needs not important? Why is it not ok for me to have lovers?Yes, multiple, because let's  face it, i have options and i don't want to have to spend the rest of my life with someone i don't have a burning desire to have sex with every night! I am so sick of feeling degraded just because i have sex! Don't spout your ridiculous religion at me either! I am a human  being that lives as such.
      Men, just because i don't want you does not mean that I am less of a person! Respect me, respect yourself and move the fuck on! I love sex, but that doesn't make me a "slut" and besides, what's wrong with a healthy sexual appetite? Just because you want me, does not mean i have to give in!
     I work hard, i am promiscuous, and i take care of business! If you don't like it, bite me!
I am not property, I have a brain and feelings and i can do as i please! You can't just use me and throw me aside and call me a slut, it's degrading and guess what? I can do better than you! No doubt that's why you ditched me, fear of rejection...so many more people to choose from, why would i give a shit if you broke my heart? I'm a free woman, free to live and love as i see fit.
This isn't ancient biblical times where i will need to be stoned for leaving my childhood husband, this is America where we all have rights to explore our sexuality and marry for love not circumstance.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

So I should've posted a New Year's resolution on here, but I guess I just wanted to achieve it! I guess its true about writing it down makes you turn it into a plan though. I did/do write things all the time, they just don't get wrote on here that often.  I am starting to go after my goals this year!!
I didn't get my Executive promoter kit or my personal training studies started like I wanted, but I have gotten my article written on Young moms club!!! This was on my list! I also wanted to do something artistic, which I am! I got a role in the local college play! I also want to take my business and fitness to the next level and budget our family money better. I am determined to get my physique in top condition! I have to start researching muscle gain. I know that this paragraph is not super interesting and not very grammar fantastic, but I just had to type this up because I am so proud of the progress I am making that I have wanted for so long. I really hope my charities go well and that I can help people get free nutrition and lose weight/get fit!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Busy mom, multi-tasking?!

Today i am thinking about alot of things.
1. fashion: I love to look special. It takes alot of work, time and money to build a wardrobe and i have three little girls to dress too! I want them to have different styles, designs and colors when getting dressed. I also want them to have the right accessories and hairstyles to go with it. I see people with great outfits that match their day and personality and i just wonder how they pull it off. I mean, I am still trying to find my signature style and its even harder when you dont have time to shop. I love seconhand things because i dont feel as bad if i keep something a week and then decide i hate it.

2. Recipes and food! I need to print off recipes and think of creative ways to incorporate good foods into meals that my family will love to eat together. and this leads me to the second thing of number 2: coupons!! I have got to get printing so i can save money!

3. Homework! I love to teach my daughters new things and study with them what they are learning in school. I need to research and get to printing out a weekly plan of cool things for us to do together. which also includes crafts!!!

4. excercise! It is so hard for me to stick to a schedule with kids! I love that i have a full time job with precious little ones, but i also need to figure out a way to kick up my workout routine while still leaving energy for them.

5. THE CHALLENGE! I have got to get to promoting! I have a party to plan on Sunday and i need to get to calling people for it. I absolutely love my job and i have got to get the success rolling with helping people get fit for free!

Monday, September 3, 2012

Being a mom is a very tough job, but its the most rewarding too! Your children are a direct result of the things you teach them. The time and attention you spend will determine what kind of person they become. Life isnt perfect and we will make mistakes about what we do around them, but the little things could mean the most.
 Show them you really care by teaching them things and spending time with them. Find things they are interested in and go from there. You could read a book, take a walk, excercise, go to the park and fly a kite, or play ball. There are so many things you can do together to pass the time that we teach your children fundamentals of how to be. Like respect and responsibility. Even just eating a meal together and discussing how the day went is a good way to connect.
 I find it very satisfying that i have had a good day with my kids! So i do my best to schedule the day and add play time or creativity. Even just sitting outside early in the morning when its nice is special to us. I love to find things my children enjoy and cultivate their talents. I like to take a moment for each one and let them know they are special and loved.
 As challenging and time consuming children are, they are worth the effort and time. I am proud to be a mother of inspiring kids who i want to teach focus as well as creativity and adventure. They teach me as much as i teach them.  I love pouring myself into their development. Sometimes i think i dont do enough and that i dont work hard enough and then i remember that i have the most important job of all: shaping little minds.